After yet another tech call with my parents where I ended up losing my cool I sent them this email:
For me to keep my sanity and in effort to not yell at you guys, I’d like to implement these rules before you ask for help:
1) Call me on my office phone since we know the audio on the computer is sketchy.
2) Ensure that I have an alcoholic drink in my hand and it is accessible throughout the call
3) Accept my request to take control of your computer.
4) Mute your speakers so we don’t have echo from the phone
5) Explain what it is you would like to do, or what exactly is happening
6) Do not click on anything or do anything without your tech representative, your soon to be drunk son, telling you.
7) Repeat #2 often